Spring out your Carbon Wheels. Ride slow in the left lane.

Foul Bachelor Frog - get carbon fiber wheels on cervelo ride slow in left lane

So, spring is finally here. Along with spring come all the “doctors” and “dentists” (a term used actually to make fun of me by my

friends) rolling out their new carbon wheels to the local 1.1 mile loop at the park. I’m a great lover of carbon wheels, and even tubular tires, but I really have to wonder if the benefits of their new tubular wheels are really being put to good use cruising along as far left as possible chatting to their friends at 16 mph.

I guess if they went faster you might not be able to see how carbon their wheels were. Not only this, but I’ve noticed that the more expensive the bike, the shorter the ride they seem to go on. From James observing that at least 1/3 of the Cat 5 pack rolled in on new Cervelos, to my own observation that the Cervelos only seem to do less than 10 laps, as if somehow their accented “e” will catch on fire and turn their bikes back into pumpkins if they exceed 10 miles in a session.

This is basically like taking your Honda Insight powered Ferrari out for a spin at the race track and you can imagine about how cool that looks. Most big cities have a riveting charity ride scene, with most of these dudes riding four abreast, and scarfing down hamburgers after stuffing their face with cliff bars and gu shots starting with the first mile of their Fred century (less than a real century. length is unknown to mortals. Freds live forever and have no souls and eat infants under cover of darkness)

I really just sometimes wonder: Do you like bikes? Or do you like actually riding them?

3 Replies to “Spring out your Carbon Wheels. Ride slow in the left lane.”

  1. LOL! no joke milin. there are some slow fucks out there with money proving to us all that you cant buy speed. a nice bike makes you more eficient but it doesnt give you rights to the fast lane. i ride less and less charity rides because i cant stand these people. for the price of an r4 on zipps you could build up a sick amsterdam or realy nice seven cruiser that is much more suited for a15mph pace.

  2. That’s half the fun in showing up to a saturday ride on a mid 80s, mid-level roadie converted to fixed gear.
    For some reason, that seems to impress them when you aren’t dropped at the 30mi rest stop.

    I just keep telling myself “Maybe they ride like clouds… cause these guys sure aren’t buying speed”. Or, “How slow would you be WITHOUT that bike?”

  3. They are stiff, uncomfortable, and only show an increase in performance at really high speeds. It’s very slight, and pros use stuff like this because they are hauling balls at high speeds for a very long time. Those few watts make a big difference.

    People ride expensive equipment on club rides because it makes them feel cool.

    I took my crabon wheels to the last club ride and to be honest I felt cooler.

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